# Big Book Workshop — 8

- Archive ID: `DP-1999-RICHMOND`
- Source: https://mikechase.org/AA_Podcasts/Media/AA%208th%20Don%20P.,%20BBW%20at%20Richmond%20,%20VA.%20AUG.14th.mp3
- Duration: 00:24:16
- Audio SHA-256: `75ca582b5f87357ec5bf04664a84ef311ab6762db76bbc63d5fa1675afc11160`

> Automated timestamped draft (faster-whisper base.en). Names, specialized terms, and unclear passages require human review.

## Transcript

**[00:00:04]** The Essence of the 10th and 11th step and the 12th step, the Essence for me is about being on time.
**[00:00:12]** Before I work within three blocks is a place called Dario's.
**[00:00:23]** It's a place that's designed to take care of people who have severe garlic deficiencies.
**[00:00:28]** It's a little Italian restaurant.
**[00:00:40]** And we usually walk up there and have lunch
**[00:00:43]** because it's good. Mama still cooks.
**[00:00:47]** When she doesn't, she beats the cook until it gets it right.
**[00:00:54]** There are days when, because of the foot problem I've been left with,
**[00:01:00]** I don't walk too well.
**[00:01:02]** And I had one of the guys that was sponsoring come by and we were going up to Dario's
**[00:01:08]** and it's so good there's never any place to park within three blocks.
**[00:01:11]** That's why we walk.
**[00:01:14]** But I really needed to drive that day.
**[00:01:16]** So we drove up and as we pulled up to Dario's, the car right in front pulled out and left
**[00:01:21]** and we had that spot.
**[00:01:23]** Now I've come to expect that.
**[00:01:26]** He said, isn't that nice? God got us a parking spot.
**[00:01:30]** Both yet.
**[00:01:32]** We were on time, that's all.
**[00:01:36]** Had we been 30 seconds earlier that Carl wouldn't have come out yet and we'd have missed it.
**[00:01:42]** If we'd have been 36 later, the guy in front of me would have gotten it.
**[00:01:46]** We were simply on time.
**[00:01:48]** 10th and 11th step, keep me on time.
**[00:01:54]** There's only one time anything can ever happen.
**[00:01:57]** That's right now.
**[00:02:01]** If it has already happened, it didn't gonna happen.
**[00:02:04]** It's the past.
**[00:02:06]** If it's gonna happen, it hadn't happened yet.
**[00:02:09]** It's the future. It can only happen now.
**[00:02:13]** The only time I can be conscious of the presence of God is now.
**[00:02:18]** That's it.
**[00:02:20]** It gets so bloody simple.
**[00:02:22]** And the continuing inventory and the checking of myself on the prayer and the meditation
**[00:02:27]** keep me fully aware that now is the time.
**[00:02:33]** Tricky stuff, but very, very simple.
**[00:02:39]** The only time I can help you is now.
**[00:02:42]** The only time you can help me is now.
**[00:02:46]** If I have already helped you, it can't happen.
**[00:02:49]** If I'm gonna help you, it hasn't happened.
**[00:02:52]** The only time is now.
**[00:02:57]** The prayer doesn't say God.
**[00:02:59]** I'm about to offer myself to thee to thee.
**[00:03:04]** I am now ready.
**[00:03:09]** Now, now, now.
**[00:03:10]** Everything is now. Everything's immediate in the spiritual world.
**[00:03:14]** You want to tell somebody you love them?
**[00:03:16]** Do it.
**[00:03:19]** Get it done.
**[00:03:20]** You want to tell somebody you're pissed at them?
**[00:03:22]** Do it now.
**[00:03:23]** The things that block me are aspects of self.
**[00:03:30]** Self-pity, self-loathing, self-interest.
**[00:03:35]** As a result of some chronic health problems and chronic pain,
**[00:03:51]** I've learned some truly wonderful, wonderful things.
**[00:03:55]** There's pain and there's suffering.
**[00:04:01]** And I used to think they went together.
**[00:04:03]** Because they did for me.
**[00:04:07]** If I'm in pain, I'm kinda sure.
**[00:04:09]** We're all gonna suffer.
**[00:04:11]** Somewhere along the way, that has changed.
**[00:04:17]** There's pain and there's suffering and they do not have to go together.
**[00:04:20]** Most suffering is caused by self-awareness.
**[00:04:24]** When I got to hepatitis and they put me on the inner fear on,
**[00:04:30]** a strange thing happened.
**[00:04:32]** The inner fear on cut me off from my feelings, from my emotions.
**[00:04:35]** It deadened me.
**[00:04:37]** For about six months I couldn't feel anything.
**[00:04:39]** Things happened.
**[00:04:41]** The only sensation I had was pain, which was no big deal.
**[00:04:47]** I came off of the inner fear on and all of a sudden I felt everything
**[00:04:53]** all at once, all over again.
**[00:04:55]** And it was a baffling thing to me because it all felt like the same thing.
**[00:04:59]** Terror.
**[00:05:00]** Then I began to sort out.
**[00:05:04]** What happens in the middle of pain is that I become aware of
**[00:05:07]** that pain causes pain.
**[00:05:09]** I become self-focused.
**[00:05:11]** And when I'm interested in self, I'm in pain.
**[00:05:17]** It's only when I'm interested in you that there's no pain.
**[00:05:21]** That's an experience I've had.
**[00:05:27]** You're looking baffled.
**[00:05:29]** I understand.
**[00:05:30]** If a problem is very difficult, the book says,
**[00:05:50]** we throw ourselves harder into working with others because it takes us out of ourselves.
**[00:05:57]** This way of life says that when I'm in real trouble,
**[00:06:04]** I'm not to go somewhere and get help.
**[00:06:07]** I'm to go somewhere and give help.
**[00:06:10]** That's how I walk on this path.
**[00:06:13]** There are other paths.
**[00:06:15]** That ain't this one.
**[00:06:17]** The way I overcome my problem is to help you overcome your problem.
**[00:06:21]** That's the easiest thing the best way.
**[00:06:23]** It gets me out of myself.
**[00:06:25]** I got it pretty good.
**[00:06:30]** I get to feel I'm sorry for myself.
**[00:06:33]** The best thing the world for me is to go find somebody that doesn't have it's pretty good and help them get it better.
**[00:06:40]** I'm to practice these principles in all of my affairs.
**[00:06:46]** To all steps says I'm to carry the message, that's easy.
**[00:06:50]** Now I got to practice the principles in all of my affairs.
**[00:06:54]** That means first of all I'm going to have some affairs.
**[00:06:58]** I mean to be real careful not to have more affairs than I have principles.
**[00:07:03]** I stole that because it sounds good.
**[00:07:09]** I like it.
**[00:07:18]** Now what are some of the affairs that I have?
**[00:07:21]** I have a family.
**[00:07:23]** Children, a wife, grandchildren.
**[00:07:26]** At one point a dog with a dog and I had some difficulty so I won.
**[00:07:33]** When I went to North Carolina I bought a little
**[00:07:37]** brown lab, male brown lab because there is absolutely nothing more vicious looking than a big lab laying at the top of the stairs looking down at you.
**[00:07:48]** It's a man eater. It wouldn't hurt a fly.
**[00:07:53]** I came home two years later and this dog thought it was his house and these were his women.
**[00:08:00]** We had some difficulties.
**[00:08:02]** I started to put him out one day and he just wasn't going to go.
**[00:08:06]** And he nipped me.
**[00:08:08]** Then by me he nipped me.
**[00:08:10]** We found him another place to live.
**[00:08:13]** We didn't have time for him anyway and that's the truth.
**[00:08:17]** Anyway I have affairs.
**[00:08:20]** I'm to practice these principles at home.
**[00:08:22]** If I can't treat my children the same way I treat the people I sponsor I'm living a lie.
**[00:08:27]** If I'm not willing to listen to them with the same closeness and care for attention I'm living a lie.
**[00:08:36]** If I'm not going to give them the same time that I give a a I'm living a lie.
**[00:08:42]** And it isn't the quantity of time.
**[00:08:44]** It's the quality of the time.
**[00:08:48]** When I'm here with you I am all the way here with you.
**[00:08:52]** And when I'm home I am all the way home.
**[00:08:55]** That's the only way I don't know how to do it.
**[00:08:59]** I practice the principles immediately.
**[00:09:01]** Where are you?
**[00:09:02]** Then do what you're going to do there.
**[00:09:04]** When I'm at work I am all the way at work.
**[00:09:10]** And I'm beginning to realize what that means because I'm only working 20 hours a week now.
**[00:09:15]** I can do my whole job in 20 hours a week.
**[00:09:19]** Most people in 40 hours are only doing 20 hours for the work anyway.
**[00:09:23]** So I just need to get my compress and go home.
**[00:09:28]** Get it done.
**[00:09:32]** Everything's immediate.
**[00:09:34]** And I've learned about crisis.
**[00:09:36]** It doesn't have to be mine just because it's crisis.
**[00:09:43]** And quite often if it's a crisis today it'll still be a crisis tomorrow.
**[00:09:49]** I don't have to do anything immediate about it.
**[00:09:52]** I'm to practice the principles.
**[00:09:54]** If I'm agitated or doubtful I'm to pause and wait for an answer.
**[00:09:57]** What is my contribution to be?
**[00:10:01]** Sometimes it's let the chaos go.
**[00:10:04]** I found out along the way that without chaos I don't have any idea what needs to be put in order.
**[00:10:09]** So I love chaos.
**[00:10:12]** I love to watch it.
**[00:10:14]** I don't like to stir it anymore.
**[00:10:16]** But out of the chaos I can see what needs to be put in order.
**[00:10:19]** And I learn what's mine and what isn't mine.
**[00:10:22]** You know most of the problems that I run into are none of my business.
**[00:10:26]** I learn that through the practice of the principles and all of my affairs.
**[00:10:33]** One of the affairs I have is how I relate to my neighbor.
**[00:10:37]** Very important affair.
**[00:10:39]** I live in a neighborhood with neighbors.
**[00:10:43]** Now I like hedges.
**[00:10:46]** I have private hedges around my house.
**[00:10:49]** I come from the old country.
**[00:10:51]** My grandpa taught me good fences make good neighbors.
**[00:10:56]** And there's nothing better for a hedge than a hedge to make a good fence.
**[00:11:00]** Nothing gets through except snakes.
**[00:11:05]** But I live in a neighborhood with civilized people.
**[00:11:10]** And it occurred to me one day while I'm putting the hedge in on my side of the property.
**[00:11:15]** One whole side of that hedge is facing his side of the property.
**[00:11:18]** He'll look at his window and see my hedge.
**[00:11:21]** Maybe I ought to consult with him and ask him how high he would like it and how he'd like that trim.
**[00:11:27]** And in that talk he says, oh I think the hedge would be fine.
**[00:11:32]** However you want to trim it.
**[00:11:34]** But leave a spot about this wide between the hedge and the edge of the house so there's a way between your house and mine.
**[00:11:43]** Because when you're gone I watch your house.
**[00:11:46]** And when I'm gone I'd like you to watch my house.
**[00:11:49]** That gives us access. Hell I've never thought about that.
**[00:11:52]** That's one of my affairs. How do I communicate with my neighbor?
**[00:11:56]** I don't have a lot of common interests but we have one interest in real common.
**[00:12:00]** We like our neighborhood clean and clear and safe.
**[00:12:03]** His kid will marijuana in my black yard one time.
**[00:12:11]** I mean the kid probably figured I'm too old to know what that is.
**[00:12:18]** I did not tell his dad why would I want to do that.
**[00:12:28]** I pulled it up because it was on my ground.
**[00:12:34]** Okay.
**[00:12:36]** And he noticed it was gone. We had a black lab at the time.
**[00:12:43]** He asked me, Mr. Priest, do you suppose if I jumped the fence that dog would hurt me?
**[00:12:48]** I said no. He would eat you.
**[00:12:55]** I just kind of let it go at that.
**[00:12:58]** We had a meeting in my backyard one time.
**[00:13:01]** We'd do that once a year. People came over and we had a big potluck and a big man.
**[00:13:05]** The next day he took me aside and he said that you seem to know something about alcoholism.
**[00:13:12]** So me and my friends some of us have a problem. You suppose we could talk to you?
**[00:13:30]** I don't put my trash on the street Monday because they don't pick it up till Tuesday.
**[00:13:38]** I take it down Tuesday morning. That's one of the affairs that happens in the neighborhood.
**[00:13:43]** I don't want my trash all over the street all night because there's cats running loose in the neighborhood.
**[00:13:48]** The next I know it's a mess.
**[00:13:51]** I learned from my neighborhood one time we have a funny phenomenon in Colorado in the winter or in the early spring.
**[00:13:58]** We'll get a heavy wet snow and then the sun comes out the next day and it starts to melt and that night it freezes
**[00:14:07]** and what you got is water that deep that freezes into ice and it makes dams of ice and the gutters fill up.
**[00:14:16]** It's a mess.
**[00:14:18]** I was in the house getting ready to go to work grousing because the city hadn't come by to clean those gutters out yet.
**[00:14:26]** I hear this noise out front. Chunk. Chunk. Chunk.
**[00:14:31]** When I looked out and here was my neighbor with a big ice thing chopping the ice out of the gutters.
**[00:14:37]** It's just a big flat. So I got my little shovel out and went out and joined him.
**[00:14:47]** Started cleaning the gutters and we visited during the morning.
**[00:14:50]** Had a good time. I learned all kinds of things about him and his life.
**[00:14:55]** He learned something about mine and we got our gutters cleaned.
**[00:14:59]** It's not the city's job. It's mine.
**[00:15:07]** And my kids watch all this.
**[00:15:10]** I am so proud of my kids particularly my two step daughters.
**[00:15:15]** They're ready my daughters. They watch how we live in our house.
**[00:15:23]** If I sponsor you I expect you to come to my house early in the morning because I want you to see how I recovered alcohol and his family live.
**[00:15:33]** That's part of my message.
**[00:15:35]** It's not all words.
**[00:15:37]** How do you carry this out when you got two teenage kids getting ready for school, a wife getting ready for work, and me getting ready for work?
**[00:15:43]** What's the house like?
**[00:15:46]** Kinda chaotic.
**[00:15:49]** So we sit in the living room and you watch the show go on while we do our step work.
**[00:15:54]** One day we got a great lesson. My daughter come down the stairs. She's about 13 at the time.
**[00:16:00]** She says, excuse me. This is my mouth. I raised an advocate.
**[00:16:08]** Excuse me, she says.
**[00:16:12]** And it shocked me. He don't interrupt us when we're busy doing God's work.
**[00:16:18]** What do you want?
**[00:16:20]** She says, I live here too.
**[00:16:22]** You've never introduced me to this person.
**[00:16:24]** Whoa, she's right.
**[00:16:27]** So I introduced him and she's nice to me. She's gone.
**[00:16:31]** That's all she wanted.
**[00:16:36]** My daughter's real father is a Denver detective by squad.
**[00:16:43]** He's got some really interesting ideas and viewpoints on life.
**[00:16:49]** I sponsor a number of gay people because I sponsor alcoholics and I don't care whether you're male, female, or mixed.
**[00:16:55]** I don't care.
**[00:16:57]** And one of my gay guys was here working with me and that same daughter came down the stairs.
**[00:17:02]** And I knew she'd been with her dad for a weekend.
**[00:17:05]** She's making really ugly noises about gay people. I can hear him.
**[00:17:12]** And Sam's watching me to see what I'm going to do here.
**[00:17:17]** We're talking about living by principles and not fighting anyone or anything.
**[00:17:23]** And I said, Kelly, something you need to know.
**[00:17:25]** She says, what's that then?
**[00:17:27]** I said, some of the people that you love the very most are gay.
**[00:17:32]** Because she really adore Sam.
**[00:17:34]** And she said, oh, who, who?
**[00:17:38]** I said, I'm not going to tell you, you figure it out.
**[00:17:41]** And let it go.
**[00:17:42]** Well, then weeks she'd come back to me and she said, it's just not worth the effort.
**[00:17:48]** I figured out who.
**[00:17:53]** That's practicing the principles as I understand them.
**[00:17:56]** I'm not to try to warp her mind or to protect Sam.
**[00:18:00]** But I'm going to certainly say, get this straight.
**[00:18:06]** She still doesn't know about Sam. She still loves him.
**[00:18:09]** Sam's done so much good for alcoholics. It's just amazing.
**[00:18:16]** Denver AA produces missionaries. I don't know if you knew that.
**[00:18:20]** You come to Denver and go through the steps and the first thing you know, you're somewhere else
**[00:18:24]** starting your own little group in the midst of AA people who don't want to hear about it.
**[00:18:28]** Old-fashioned 12-step work was fun and very dangerous.
**[00:18:38]** We had guns pulled on me. I made a mistake going on a call one night by myself.
**[00:18:43]** Got to the door and he opened the door and he's got a gun in his hand.
**[00:18:46]** He's changed his mind. He doesn't want to quit.
**[00:18:51]** That's fine with me. Good night.
**[00:19:00]** Three of us one time, my sponsor and another fell and I, during our evangelistic period,
**[00:19:09]** we were at the state convention and the call came in there.
**[00:19:12]** And we took the call. Guy in a motel. We went out.
**[00:19:15]** We were on our suits looking good. We gave him an hour and a half of the best 12 stuff
**[00:19:19]** that you've ever heard. I just stayed sober already. It was incredible.
**[00:19:24]** And when he looked up us and said, man, it's clear to me you guys really have your shit together.
**[00:19:32]** But I needed a prank.
**[00:19:35]** So out of four alcoholics on a 12-step call, three of the four states sober and went back to the convention.
**[00:19:43]** Because that's the way it works. My job is just to carry the message.
**[00:19:50]** And in doing that I get to stay sober.
**[00:19:53]** And if he does too, that's a bonus. If not, it doesn't really matter.
**[00:19:57]** We got a shot at him somewhere down the way. Maybe somebody else will get a shot at him.
**[00:20:09]** I really appreciate your allowing me to come out.
**[00:20:12]** This wears me out.
**[00:20:15]** I go through numerous kinds of internal hell with this.
**[00:20:19]** Because I know I'm doing the job and I'm doing it right.
**[00:20:22]** I also am concerned that I must bore you all to death after a while.
**[00:20:27]** I wouldn't sit and listen to me this long.
**[00:20:34]** But I appreciate you. I need desperately to tell people
**[00:20:40]** about what happened to me when God became fully alive in me.
**[00:20:48]** And in my regular life, going to work, raising kids, getting nipped by the dog, cutting ice with the neighbor,
**[00:20:56]** getting to go to Russia and talk to them about, hey, whatever that may be, is all part of that same package.
**[00:21:02]** It's just God's here. Let's go do it.
**[00:21:05]** He may be eating pancakes tomorrow and borscht the next day. It doesn't make any difference.
**[00:21:09]** I came here desperate because I needed to die and couldn't die.
**[00:21:19]** The state I'm in tonight because of you is that I'm truly willing to stick around for as long as need be.
**[00:21:27]** I have plans that I'd like to take carry out that are beyond my projected life.
**[00:21:33]** I'm not going to get down all the stuff I want to get down.
**[00:21:37]** And that's okay. I'm going to take a crack at it.
**[00:21:40]** You haven't written into my life.
**[00:21:45]** So I will go back home now until the folks about you.
**[00:21:49]** I really will. I don't know all about you.
**[00:21:53]** Those of you who've been in fellowship with the spirit know what I'm talking about.
**[00:21:57]** They're just waiting on you. I don't know who you are because it's all a common deal we had going on.
**[00:22:04]** My wife will really appreciate you.
**[00:22:07]** When I do one of these spiritual weekends, I go home horny.
**[00:22:11]** She's really like that.
**[00:22:14]** We're done and yet this thing is undone.
**[00:22:33]** It can never be done. We just need to keep getting together with each other.
**[00:22:37]** That's what the fellowship is about.
**[00:22:40]** Just kind of getting together and learning how to visit.
**[00:22:43]** Last time I was here, I got to stay with Alex. We had a great time.
**[00:22:47]** He taught me more than you can imagine about life.
**[00:22:51]** I just love him to pieces.
**[00:22:54]** Keep standing in touch with him.
**[00:22:58]** I'd like to get to come back out for the wedding.
**[00:23:01]** What a great deal that's going to be. That's if I'm approved.
**[00:23:06]** So anyhow, it's time to go home.
**[00:23:13]** Thank you very much for having me come out.
**[00:23:15]** I hope to see you over the road.
**[00:23:17]** Remember, the fellowship of the spirit both in Colorado and up in Maine in March.
**[00:23:23]** It's a little four day deal. It starts on a Thursday.
**[00:23:26]** There's a speaker on Thursday.
**[00:23:28]** There's a speaker on Friday night. It'll be an on and on.
**[00:23:31]** There's two speakers on Saturday.
**[00:23:34]** There's one on Sunday. There's ten big book workshops.
**[00:23:37]** The rest of the time it's just getting together.
**[00:23:40]** It's a family deal. Bring the kids.
**[00:23:42]** This is basic old-aid.
**[00:23:45]** They're setting it up so the folks on this coast
**[00:23:49]** can have what we've had for seven years and come around.
**[00:23:52]** Just a weekend together together and have a lot of fun.
**[00:23:55]** Pop luck on Friday.
**[00:23:57]** Everybody from different parts of the country bring whatever your favorite food is.
**[00:24:02]** It's a good time. You get flyers on it. That's all I got.